Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Arr? Aye!

Nearly as important as defending the right of free speech is defending the right of very, very silly speech, an aptly timed example of which is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, Wednesday, September 19.

Wikipedia summarizes the growth of this most wonderful and pointless of holidays, from its humble origin in 1995 to its emergence as a worldwide phenomenon following columnist Dave Barry's endorsement in 2002. Note that it is not International Dress Like a Pirate Day, although I can't imagine how anyone would object if you did. People wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day and Santa caps at Christmas; who's to snicker if you show up for work with an eyepatch, parrot,* buccaneer boots and cutlass? Especially a cutlass.

So this International Talk Like a Pirate Day, please remember to answer your phone with a hearty "Ahoy!" Begin sentences with a growly "Arrh!" Refer to family and co-workers as "matey" and "scurvy dog." Work the word "Avast!" into casual conversation.

If we're afraid to talk like pirates, the terrorists win.

*As with bunnies at Easter or dalmatians following the release of a new Disney movie, the American Humane Association cautions the public not to purchase parrots just to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Very often, such parrots become neglected as the festive joy of the holiday season fades, with many winding up in animal shelters or abandoned to join marauding flocks of feral parrots. Participants may want to consider renting or leasing a parrot for celebratory purposes from a reputable parrot broker. Please be a responsible parrot owner/renter.


ronnie said...

"marauding flocks of feral parrots"

This is so true, and so sad. Some experts predict the feral parrot problem could become as bad as the Spotted Owl crisis depicted in the science documentary series, "Futurama".

Natasha Laity Snyder said...

I am American Humane's educator on parrots, and its true, the last thing we want is millions of parrots bought for "Talk Like a Pirate Day" released into the wild to clutter our skies!! Thank you for your concern! Animal Shelters receive enough parrots as it is!

This is hilarious!

Brian Fies said...

Best replies ever. Together, we can make a difference. Thanks.