Thursday, January 04, 2007

How Low Can You Go?

This morning I received the e-mail below, a twist on the classic Nigerian spammer con game that took me aback. This shameless appeal to take pity on a terminal cancer patient was a new one on me. It also raised an interesting question: is this e-mail as ubiquitous as the Nigerian one and just happened to end up in the mailbox of a guy who wrote a book about terminal cancer? Or was it somehow tailored and targeted to cancer-themed sites and people? If the latter, I'm kind of impressed by their work ethic, if not their skills in grammar or persuasion.

Anyway, I find it simultaneously sad and funny, and I guess you can't warn people too often that Internet offers of something for nothing always deserve deletion. Coincidentally, I also received a very realistic-looking phishing e-mail purporting to be from my bank and demanding that I immediately confirm my account information for them. Nope, sorry.

It's a dangerous Web out there, kids.

Hello, You may be surprised to receive this mail, as you read this, don't feel so sorry for me because I know everyone will die someday.

My name is [deleted], a business woman in London. I have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer which was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medication right now and I have only few hours left to live, according to medical experts. I have never particularly lived my life so well as I never really cared for anyone not even me but my business. Though I am very rich, but I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and I only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for in my life. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believed when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life in a different way from how I have lived now, but now that God has called me through this way I willed most of my properties and access to my immediate and extended family and as well as few close friends.

I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so with that reason I decided to give alms to CHARITY ORGANISATIONS, as I want this to be one of the last good deed I did on earth, so far I have distributed money to some Charity Organization in countries like India and Africa. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore.

I once asked my family members to close one of my accounts and distribute the funds which I have there to CHARITY ORGANSATION in Rwanda and Pakistan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of the funds which no one knows of, is the cash deposit in one of the banks here. I want to know if you can be of good help to dispatch these funds to CHARITY organizations. I have set aside 20% of the total amount $1,500,000.00 One million five hundred thousand dollars) for you and your time and patience for carrying out this duties. This means you will keep $300,000 (three hundred thousand dollars) for yourself and donate the rest to any charity organisation. May God be with you as you have decided to take a bold step to heal the world with me or even in my demise. I am going in for an operation now, and I don't think I will make it. And this hurts.

If you can give me this assistance, you can then contact my lawyer who will assist you in getting the funds to you in my absence if i die or not. He would give you more details. His name is [deleted] and his email address is [deleted]. He would guide you through receiving the funds.

Best Regards,
[Mrs. Spammy McLarceny]


ronnie said...

I know I have gotten similar "I'm dying and want to give away my money" emails via our main work email, which I monitor since one of my hats is communications director. I don't recall if cancer was the disease in question, but I assumed they were targeting us because we're an NGO (they usually cite wanting to leave the money to "charitable causes" as they do in your version).

Who knows how they find us or if they even target anyone? How despicable whatever the modus operandi.

My favourites are the ones from some Mr. Johnathan P. Chesterfield, Esq., who has managed to attain the position Chief Solicitor to the Bank of England in London, England in spite of mysteriously writing English at the level of an illiterate 90-year-old Rwandan goatherd. :)


Anonymous said...

I got this too, just tonight... and I don't have cancer.

You may be surprised to receive this mail, as you read this, don't feel so sorry for me because I know everyone will die someday.