Friday, May 26, 2006


I own a stupid cat. That's not a slander against the cat, whose name is Amber. It is a medical fact.

A Good Samaritan found Amber when she was just a couple of weeks old, comatose in a field, almost dead, and took her to a veterinarian friend of ours. He saved her, barely, but whatever happened to her in that field took its toll. He started asking around: Anybody want a brain-damaged cat?

He played us like fools.

Amber isn't cool and graceful like our other two cats. When she jumps, she's as likely to overshoot her landing as stick it. Gravity is always a delightful new discovery. She knows her name--about half the time--but never seems able to figure out where it's coming from. She's kind of an oaf and about half a beat slow, a trait often undetectable in a human but hilariously evident in a cat.

She's also not very good at grooming herself, which is unfortunate since she turned out to be a very long-haired tabby who hates being brushed. So once a year, in the spring when the weather turns warm, we take Amber back to our vet friend and he shaves her tangled, matted coat into a "lion cut." For a few weeks afterward she's the most pathetic, trembling, sorry, ridiculous creature ever born. Her bobble head is five sizes too big for her body and she's got a pom-pom stuck at the end of every extremity. The other cats tease her mercilessly--I hear them snicker.

Or perhaps that's me.


Anonymous said...

OMG...I can't wait to get up there and see her. Yes, I do believe you have nailed her "look" as I recall last years "do".
Nurse Sis

GrandFatherA said...

I think Amber is a cute, harmless little being. Karen would keep her regardless. See you again in a couple of weeks.

The Laundress said...

Hey there Mr. Fies,

I used to have a neighbor with a brain-damaged pug. A sweet and cute pug (aren't they all?).

When a visitor would knock on the door, they could come inside neighbor's apartment and talk for awhile then leave. Eventually, Ms. Puggy would get up and go over to the door and bark ferociosly. Even if two hours after the knock.

Just took her awhile to process things.

Anonymous said...

first of all you site is great.
i am sorry about mom cancer ....

i just wanted o say that i met a girl on internt we loved each other become girl boy friend then about 4 month later she said she has cancer but in real she just lied ....oh god i hated her first then something in me said you forgive her she she will get her lesson...

i hope you are having a good life


BrianFies said...

Laundress, thanks for the pug story and for coming over from Nonanon to check me out. That time delay is pretty funny. We see a similar but smaller lag with Amber. For example, dangling a string like a pendulum, she's half a swing behind. If she were in a crowd watching a tennis match, her head would be turning the opposite of everyone else's.

Anonymous, thanks for the compliment and sorry about the girl. My life is good.

Nurse Sis and Grandfathera, see you both soon.